Marina Bonadeni was born in Milan in 1964, she has lived and worked in Rome since 2009. She is a psychologist-psychotherapist with a cognitive-behavioral-evolutionary approach, and an EMDR Therapist. She obtained the Level I and II Certificate in Sensorimotor Therapy, practices privately, and is registered with the Order of Psychologists of Lazio (with no. 20080). In 2025, she published Four Stories for Four Experiences of Dysfunctional Care/Attachment, the harmful effect of imprinting on children. This is a book that intertwines narrative and psychology to shed light on the roots of family relationships and their impact on adult life. The reflection on daily gestures, unspoken words, and invisible legacies is powerful: it reminds us how awareness can be transformative.
This ‘protective reaction’ is often an unconscious strategy to emotionally survive in an environment lacking essential elements for development. It can manifest in various ways: emotional closure, hyper-independence, excessive adaptation to others’ expectations, or difficulties in trusting others. In some cases, these patterns can persist into adulthood, influencing personal relationships and self-perception. But awareness of these dynamics is already a powerful first step towards transformation. Understanding one’s reactions and defense mechanisms helps to open up new possibilities for building healthier relationships and greater inner security. A profound inner experience of great suffering can accompany a person over time and deeply influence their ability to build authentic connections.
The “emotional hunger” and “relationship void” described by Bonadeni are experiences that often stem from unmet emotional needs in childhood and can lead to a constant sense of dissatisfaction in adult relationships. However, even though these patterns may seem entrenched, they are not immutable. Awareness is already a first step: recognizing these feelings and understanding where they come from allows for the beginning of a transformative journey.
Through corrective experiences, meaningful relationships, and often targeted therapeutic work, one can learn to build new ways of experiencing intimacy, connection, and emotional satisfaction. This is a mechanism that often manifests in individuals with a background of emotional deprivation in childhood. Without full awareness of these dynamics, relational patterns may repeat that confirm loneliness and emotional distance, choosing emotionally unavailable partners or avoiding social situations for fear of rejection. It is as if, unconsciously, one tries to relive and confirm a reality that is already known, even if painful. But the good news is that these patterns are not immutable. With work on awareness, understanding, and, if necessary, therapeutic support, it is possible to break the cycle and build more satisfying emotional experiences.
The first step is to recognize these automatism and begin to make different choices, even if they may initially seem foreign or difficult. The primary relationship with the mother figure or whoever has fulfilled that role constitutes a fundamental emotional model. In the early years of life, the child internalizes experiences of care, protection, and love, thus building the foundations for their future ability to trust, connect, and perceive security in emotional relationships. If this initial relationship has been unstable, unpredictable, or lacking, it is possible that as an adult, difficulties may arise in fully opening up to intimacy and in managing emotions in romantic relationships.
Some patterns can unconsciously repeat, leading to choices that confirm that experience, even when the desire is to build healthier connections. Secure attachment is the foundation of a stable sense of self and balanced relationships in adulthood. When these essential needs such as protection, empathy, and acceptance are neglected or denied in childhood, the child may develop a profound sense of emotional loneliness and difficulty trusting others.
This deprivation can influence the ability to build authentic bonds, leading to relational patterns characterized by insecurity, fear of abandonment, or, conversely, excessive emotional withdrawal. However, like any pattern, that of emotional deprivation can also be transformed. Through corrective experiences, healthy relationships, and paths of awareness, it is possible to learn to meet those needs differently, building deeper and more fulfilling connections. In romantic relationships, this pattern can create a cycle of emotional dissatisfaction, in which a person constantly perceives a lack of attention, respect, and love from their partner. This experience often stems from childhood experiences where emotional needs were not adequately recognized, leading to a continual search for validation and reassurance that, unfortunately, never seems to be enough.
This dynamic can generate frustration, because even when the partner offers affection, the person with this pattern may feel it is insufficient or inauthentic, fostering a sense of emptiness and insecurity. However, understanding these roots is the first step to transforming the way relationships are experienced. Working on self-esteem, expectations, and strategies to build a more secure attachment can make a difference. In romantic relationships, this pattern can create a cycle of emotional dissatisfaction, where the person constantly perceives a lack of attention, respect, and love from the partner.
This experience often stems from childhood experiences where emotional needs were not adequately recognized, leading to a continuous search for validation and reassurance that, unfortunately, seems never to be enough. This dynamic can generate frustration because even when the partner offers affection, the person with this pattern may feel it is insufficient or inauthentic, fueling a sense of emptiness and insecurity. However, understanding these roots is the first step in transforming the way relationships are experienced. Working on self-esteem, expectations, and strategies to build a more secure attachment can make a difference.